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However, many Free Software activists refuse to use it.

Who? (That blog post is a couple of years old amyway)

What would you think if you discovered that a new messaging software claiming to be decentralized is sending lots of your private data and metadata to their central servers despite you installed your own instance?

That hasn’t been the case in the past two years and I doubt it has ever been.

We have not investigated further, so let’s consider there is no freedom issue at all and we are only dealing with fully Free Software.

Then don’t bring it up.

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Matrix is not only a viable alternative to discord but to all other messaging services. Nothing keeps you from replacing whatsapp with it. However matrix does produce lots of metadata and your server has access to it. If you don’t like your admin to have that metadata then only a p2p service is an alternative. Signal doesn’t store the metadata forever on their servers. Everything else is encrypted.

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