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flatbield
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My point is that it is not correct that only gmail works.

Self hosting is a different consideration. It is a lot of work and fairly costly to get correctly setup and a real pain to maintain. There is very little reason to do it too as there are many providers that can host your domain mail. Proton Mail and Fastmail are two such examples.

4dpuzzle
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My point is that it is not correct that only gmail works.

Proton Mail and Fastmail are two such examples

I had Proton and Fastmail in mind when I wrote that reply - along with some others like Migadu. But the point remains - you need to be a large scale mail provider like any of them to bargain your way into deliverability. Self hosting is completely left out - a far cry from the actual federated design of emails.

It is a lot of work and fairly costly to get correctly setup and a real pain to maintain.

That is not necessarily true these days. There are a lot of turnkey bundles like mailinabox, mailu and mailcow that are easy to deploy, maintain and update. There are even projects that aim to combine all the necessary services into a single binary server - like maddy and stalwart. They provide everything necessary for running a mail server and ensuring deliverability. But they still don’t get delivered on those large service providers.

There is very little reason to do it too

Paid services that don’t sell you out is much better than big free ones that squeeze you for data. But I don’t consider having our data on someone else’s server as ideal. The ideal thing is that every home should have a cheap server with net/web applications that can be deployed with the ease of installing a desktop application. But we are going the wrong way. And those big monolithic abusive service providers are the biggest hurdle to achieving that.

flatbield
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Not saying I like it. I actually have email running in my VPS. Pain to setup but did not have delivery problems but I only use it in limited ways.

Reason I did not switch to this for general use is mail is too core and it needs to be something my wife can maintain if needed. Plus I would have had to have several VPSes in multiple data centers to guarantee 100% uptime and segment security. Plus auditing, patching, and upgrade work load.

For now we use the mail accounts provided by my small ISP but at some point we will probably move to hosted domain mail. Maybe Fastmail or something similar as the provider.

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