Whoops, I meant rclone.

I think rsync rclone is the correct tool to meet your needs. I’m not good with it so I can’t help with the specifics.

As for sharing, you can manually pick a folder to share and give the link out as you please

That’s simple mobile tools, which op was referring to as the sellouts.

Oh true

The vault is also stored on the Bitwarden servers, which is why I mentioned a data breach.

Granted, the level of encryption on those vaults is excellent and the chances of decryption is low.

What if the container goes down or gets corrupted? Can I still share passwords back and forth with my wife if she doesn’t want to deal with my self hosting shenanigans?

These reasons here are why I’m switching to KeePass soon. You can set up Syncthing to keep all the databases in sync and store it locally on each device. That way, it’s all self hosted still but less chance of critical failure and no chance of your database getting into the wrong hands from a massive leak by a company.